Andy Holmes

Topics discussed

Finding a support group
Celiac e-Mail lists
Gluten-free liquor

Video Text

I think that just as there are societal norms associated with women and everyone wants to look like a Victoria’s Secret model, I think every man wants to be macho, wants to be tough, wants to be the Big Guy football player. And I think that there are a lot of men who – I mean I’ve had men look at me with – you know – guffaw and say “How can you say that you have diarrhea? How can you say that you’re bloated and a little gassy today? And you’re feeling weak and you can’t go to this restaurant, you can’t go and have beer and pizza with your friends?” You know, “Why don’t you just suck it up and do it?” ‘Cause I think there’s a machismo associated with being A Man that’s holding a lot of guys back.

Having a Celiac Support Group and having the Celiac mailing list and list server on Yahoo has been – it’s been – it’s an extra arm and it’s an extra friend and somebody you can talk to that understands what you’re going through – that doesn’t think it’s petty when you say “I can’t go to Taco Bell.”

There aren’t a lot of guys that are willing to admit that they’re willing to go to a support group for anything. I tell people “Oh I got my group meeting tonight” and the immediate response people think is: I’ve got manic depressive syndrome or something like that. And – no, it’s just so that I can learn the best places to eat, I can share other experiences with other people and understand these things. But I think men are held back by – they hate to admit for help, they hate to ask for directions, they hate to get any kind of advice from anybody else, and as a man with Celiac Disease, I’ve learned that it’s easier to get help than it to try to learn everything on your own.

There was a guy I talked to at one of the support groups and he was saying how, you know his friends sometimes go out after work and have a beer and he’s – he’s embarrassed that he can’t go out and do that. And I basically told him, I said “Drink Makers Mark.” It’s a corn-derivative whiskey.

To the person that has just been diagnosed with this is, I would tell you that there are going to be good days and there are going to be bad days. And as you progress with this disease, those days are going to go to the side of good days more and more and more and more often. People are going to learn to understand, you’re going to learn to deal with it better. And the good day are going to outweigh the bad days and you’re going to be healthier, you’re going to be happier and you’re going to become – like I am – a resource for someday else that’s dealing with this disease and it’s a great feeling. It really is a great feeling.

My name is Andy Holmes and I’m living my life with Celiac Disease.